


lonely days of uncertainty (they disappear when you're near)

by callumsmitchells



Category: EastEnders
Genre: Fluff, M/M, proposal, soft, yes that is right i'm writing a proposal even though they aren't together offically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 21:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20627969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells
Summary: It's Ben and Callum's anniversary and Callum wants to surprise Ben.or, a self indulgent proposal fic, for reasons.





	lonely days of uncertainty (they disappear when you're near)

They had been together for ten months, properly. It had been much longer since Callum realised he could see himself falling head over heels in love with Ben, and even longer since they shared their first kiss together in the children's playground. In those ten months, a lot has happened. Callum has had to open up to everyone in his life, admitting who he really is. Ben has recovered from being shot, even though he occasionally will still feel phantom pain. Both of them have suffered regular nightmares from being held hostage, and both of them have helped each other when times have got tough. They were a proper couple, happy and in love. A family unit, albeit not the traditional set up - but when was anything? Lexi was happy enough, having so many people around her who loved and cared for her, and, as she always says - "it just means more presents for me!" Which is why Callum is currently standing in a jewellery store, miles away from Walford, so as to avoid anyone who knew him and Ben from seeing him. He wasn't embarrassed to be purchasing a ring for Ben, far from it. He had been looking at this ring for weeks now, knowing that it was the perfect match for his boyfriend, he just didn't want anyone knowing, because that means risking someone ruining the romantic surprise, and they didn't get to do enough of them.

The jewellery shop worker had been kind enough to hold back the ring that Callum had spotted all those weeks ago, after he had woken up in the middle of the night from a siren outside. Ben was rarely awoken in his sleep, previously confiding in Callum that he is able to fall into deep sleeps now because he feels so comfortable with the man he shares a bed with. Callum likes to embrace Ben when they sleep, wrapping his arms around him, their fingers sometimes entwining. That particular night, Callum woke up way too early to get out of bed, but too late to fall back asleep. Instead he sat upright against the headboard, Ben still fast asleep next to him, and grabbed his phone. Streetlights flooded through gaps in the curtains, the sky fading from black to a navy blue, and Callum sighed, one hand running through Ben’s hair, the other typing out _‘men’s engagement rings’_ into Google. He'd been thinking about it for days now, proposing to Ben. It was something Lexi had said, she had called Callum her daddy for the first time, and a flame burst inside his heart. He realised that he wanted that, he wanted to be Lexi's dad, and Ben loved the idea of that too. In the days following that moment, they'd shared a few comments about weddings and marriage when they were sat snuggled together watching television, and Callum realised that more than anything, he wanted to be Ben's husband.

“It’s this one, correct?” The woman, Julie, asked, bringing the ring out in its leather box, perched upon a white board.

Callum nodded and smiled, blown away with how perfect the band looked for Ben, he could just picture it wrapped around Ben’s finger.

“When are you proposing?” She enquired, ticking a few things off on a slip of paper in front of her.

“Tonight.” Callum said, barely able to peel his eyes away from the ring. “It’s our anniversary, so I thought now was the perfect time to ask him.”

* * *

Ben had no idea where Callum was. The night before he had just told him that he'd be out of town for a few hours, and Ben trusted Callum. They both trusted each other, and that's why their relationship worked so seamlessly. He was sat with Lola and Lexi, just as he usually did when he wasn’t working. Lexi was sat at the table, drawing multicolours in one of her possibly hundreds of colouring books. She had gotten so much better at colouring within the lines lately, and every photo she drew for each of the adults in her life, they placed on the fridge, front and centre to show how proud they were of her.

"So you're both alright about staying out tonight?" Ben asked, flicking the television remote around in his hands aimlessly.

Lola nodded, taking a sip of her tea. "Course." She said. "Jay's sorted out films for us all to watch, and Lexi's excited, aren't you Lex?"

Out the corner of his eye, Ben noticed his little girl beam. "Uncle Jay said we can watch Frozen and get pizza!"

Ben grinned. He loved their little family set up.

"What are you two doing anyway?" Lola inquired, knowing that it was their anniversary.

Ben shrugged. "Said something about cooking us both a meal. That's why he wanted everyone out the house, just so we could actually get some privacy."

"Reckon he's got a surprise up his sleeve?" Lola asked, completely invested in the Ben's love life. It had been a while since someone other than Lexi stole Ben's heart completely, caused him to blush and smile with just a thought of the love he feels in his heart.

Leaning forward to steal a biscuit from Lola, Ben spoke. "You mean is he going to propose?" He stated. "I don't know. We've spoken about future, and it's obvious that we both want that at some point, but I just want to let Cal do whatever he feels comfortable."

Lola nodded slowly. "But if he asks, you're saying yes, right?"

Ben snorted. "Obviously." He smiled, blush creeping up on his face now. “I love him, Lo, and I didn’t think I’d be able to do that after what happened to Paul.”

“I’m proud of you, y’know?” Lola asked, wrapping her arms around Ben. “You’ve overcome everything in your life, you’re an amazing dad, and a pretty perfect boyfriend in Callum’s eyes. Everything finally looks good for you.”

* * *

Ben’s phone buzzed with a text from Callum to let him know that he was back home. Ben took that as his cue to leave, and gave Lexi and Lola a kiss on the cheek goodbye, and walked the familiar steps across the square, a smile across his face and a spring in his step knowing that he was only moments away from seeing Callum again. Callum was stood in the kitchen, already dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a smart white shirt which looked as though it was pulled from Ben’s side of the wardrobe.

“What are we having?” Ben asked, stepping behind Callum, wrapping his arms around his waist, having to stand on his tiptoes slightly, stretching up to press his lips to Callum’s neck, just where he likes it.

Callum twisted under Ben’s hold, moving to stretch his arms around Ben’s body, Ben instinctively tilting his head up whilst Callum tilts his down, the height difference something shared between the two of them that they loved. "Steak." Callum answered, pressing his lips to Ben's. They hadn't seen each other since just gone ten this morning, and it was their anniversary - it was allowed.

"Go and have a shower, get dressed in what I've put out for you, and then come down for food." Callum said, wanting everything to run smoothly. He needed to check that the steaks were being cooked to perfection, the two of them having different preferences on how they were to be cooked. Ben pouted his lips like he wanted Callum to kiss him again, and so wordlessly, he complied. How could he not?

The moment Ben left the room to run upstairs, Callum let out a deep sigh of relief as he felt his pocket, knowing that the ring was still intact in its box and had failed to notice it. He just had to get through this meal, and then it would all be out in the open.

Not even twenty minutes later, Callum could hear Ben's footsteps descending downstairs and he smiled to himself. It was a familiar sound he had grown to love, even if it woke him up too early in the morning occasionally. Since being with Ben, especially living together, he noticed that even the simplest of things that Ben did, like putting the sugar in their cups of tea before the hot water, or how he would cough in embarrassment when Callum catches him singing along to whatever was playing on the radio, caused him to fall more in love with Ben every time they happened.

Ben stood at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in his own jeans and a dark blue buttoned up shirt, his hair flat against his head but fluffing up slightly from the humidity of his shower. "You look amazing." Callum said, astounded at how good he truly did look.

"Well you picked it out." Ben shrugged, folding his arms and leaning against the doorframe. Callum swore his knees buckled just looking at him.

"I've got good taste." He admitted, walking over to Ben, placing his hands on Ben's arms and kissing him gently.

Ben smiled into the kiss. "Of course you do." He whispered. "You chose me, didn't ya?"

Callum rolled his eyes. That was such a typical Ben response. "Go and sit down, I need to plate up." He bit his lip and admired Ben's body as he turned to walk away.

"Eyes up." Ben shouted back, smugly.

* * *

Eating together was a regular thing for Ben and Callum. More often than not, Callum would hone in on his talent as an army chef, and would cook meals for the whole family, everyone packed in around one table to enjoy their food - but eating alone was a whole other experience. It rarely happened, which is why Callum needed it to happen now. He had placed sweetly scented candles in the middle of the table, two cans of beer signifying where they were to sit, the rest of the crate on the far end of the table for then they needed a top up. It was peaceful, nice.

"This is amazing, Cal." Ben smiled, tasting his food. "The meal, just everything."

Callum reached over to place Ben's hand in his own, the two of them just fitting perfectly. "We never get time alone, so I just thought it was time for it to happen." He admitted, rubbing his thumb over Ben's knuckles. "How's our Lex?"

Ben smiled to himself. "She's good yeah. Jay has no idea what he's getting himself into - he's promised her that they can watch Frozen."

Callum chuckled, knowing that means they'll have to watch it on repeat all night until Jay starts to sing along. He had learnt that the hard way, all those months ago. "Oh dear."

"So what were you doing this morning then?" Ben asked. "Couldn't get out of here fast enough."

"I would've spent all day with you if I could, you know that right?" Callum asked, suddenly self-conscious that he had made a mistake. "I just had to pick something up."

Grinning, Ben spoke. "Looks like you'll have to make it up to me upstairs."

"Later, I promise." Callum confirmed.

They ate in a comfortable silence, the radio softly playing in the background as it usually does. Any opportunity Callum had to hear Ben singing a song under his breath, he would jump at. It was peaceful, even if it was unusual. At any moment they were expecting hear someone start an argument, or refuse to eat vegetables. But it didn't happen. It was just them, facing each other from across a table, the candlewicks flickering as though they were dancing along to the music. Callum couldn't help but look at the man he loved as he ate. He got to see the side of Ben that not many people got to see. Everyone assumed he was this hard man Mitchell, who was his father’s son and his uncles nephew - but he was so much more. Callum got to see him in the mornings, shirtless, with his glasses on and a deep voice as Lexi jumped into bed with them, demanding her morning cuddles. Callum got to witness the calmer side of Ben, the side that loved nothing more than just being held in Callum's arms. He got to see him cry when times had gotten tough, and he remembered Paul, or when Phil still wasn't loving him enough. The ring in his pocket had never felt heavier than in this moment, with his heart bursting at the seams and ready to blurt out exactly how he feels.

"You finished?" He manages to get out, noticing that Ben had put his cutlery on his plate.

Ben nodded and smiled at Callum as he stood up to put their plates in the kitchen. "You want dessert? It's your favourite."

"You really are perfect, aren't you? Of course I'll have some." Callum leaned down and kissed the top of Ben's head. They really couldn't stay away from each other. "You seem nervous."

Shrugging, Callum responded. "I just want tonight to be perfect for you. It's what you deserve."

Callum walked into the kitchen without looking back, and that was the mistake.

Ben stretched his back, his muscles aching from being sat down for the majority of the day. When he stretched, he noticed that was something was on the seat that Callum had just been sat on. He leaned over, and picked it up, his hand shaking now. He opened the box, and placed inside it was a ring. It was simple enough, a silver matt band with shiny silver surrounding the perimeter of it. Ben couldn't help but smile, his thumb running over it in awe. Callum really chose perfectly.

"It might be ho-" Callum started, walking in with two dishes of Ben's favourite sweet, sticky toffee pudding, but stopping in his tracks when he saw Ben with the ring that Callum had bought hours previously.

"You want to marry me?" Ben spoke, his voice shy and quiet and it was obvious that he was in shock.

Callum stepped forward, and put the dishes on the table next to Ben. "That's the plan. Ruined it now haven't I?" He started stressing. Ben knew the signs of Callum starting to stress, and tried to calm him down, though it didn't work. "I had this big plan, that's why I wanted to get everyone out of the house. I was going to do this meal, and I had this speech that I've been writing for weeks and then I'd ask you. I'm an idiot."

"Breathe." Ben said, standing up and putting his hands on Callum's waist, rubbing in upwards and downward motions in an attempt to calm him down. "You are an idiot, yeah. But you're my idiot, and I love you so much. Nothing has been ruined, okay, nothing. It'd be a shame to waste this ring, so..." Ben dragged out.

Callum let out a soft sigh, smiling when Ben kisses him. He grabbed the box out of Ben's hand and got down and one knee, looking up to see Ben's grin go wider and wider.

"Not used to see you on the one knee." Ben grinned sarcastically.

"Shut up or I won't propose." Callum said firmly, though he couldn't help the smile that grew on his face at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Ben Mitchell. From the moment you walked into my life, you have changed me in more ways than I ever thought possible. You are singlehandedly the most annoying and sarcastic person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and on more than one occasion I've wished I could just walk away from you after you've said something to annoy me, but I'm just physically incapable of it. It's like there's a magnetic force between us that means I need to stay by your side at all times, but I really don't mind that at all. You are the most beautiful person in the world to me, and I don't tell you that enough, but you are. You're beautiful even in the mornings when you have a major hangover, and your freckles are more prominent because you're so pale. You're beautiful when I wake up in the middle of the night to you elbowing me in the stomach. Ben, you've helped me through some tough times, just as I have helped you through some to. You've introduced a whole new world, life and family to me and I love you so much for that. When we first met, I remember thinking that you were going to be important to me in some way, I just didn't know how, and I certainly wouldn't have expected this. You have changed my life for the better. I'm happy. I'm settled. Most importantly I'm finally being honest with myself, and I would shout it from the rooftops that I am in love with you. So please, will you marry me?"

Ben couldn't stop smiling even if he tried. His cheeks were sore from the wide grin on his face, but he really could not believe that this was happening. "Of course I'll marry you!" He exclaimed, practically dragging Callum back up onto his feet because he couldn't bear to not be kissing him over and over right now. Callum grinned into the kiss, the ring still intact in the box, held tightly in his hand as his other ran through Ben's hair, holding their faces together in place.

"Can I have the ring?" Ben asked, pulling apart from Callum for mere seconds before being dragged back in for another, softer kiss this time.

"It is your ring, course you can." Callum said, opening it up and putting it on Ben's ring finger.

"It looks perfect." Ben whispered, admiring the silver metal that now adorned his finger.

Callum smiled shyly. "You really like it?"

Ben nodded and smiled. "I love it. Can we go upstairs now? I believe we have some celebrating to do."

Callum let Ben move first, running up the stairs with his left hand in Callum's and all Callum could think about was how the cold metal was always meant to be there. 

* * *

The morning after, the two dishes remained uneaten on the dining table, the remnants of their engagement. The two of them sat on the sofa, both naked aside from boxers and their dressing gowns, their arms wrapped around one another. The television in front of them played whatever daytime news show was on, neither of them really interested in it. Callum couldn't stop looking at the ring that was newly placed on Ben's finger. Ben stretched his hand open, letting Callum entwine their fingers and bring their joined hands up to his mouth, pressing a kiss where their fingers threaded.

"I'm so happy." Ben commented absently, leaning his head back to rest on Callum's shoulder. "I feel like everything's just gone right for us for once."

"I love you. Should probably start saying that more now we're actually engaged." Callum chuckled.

Ben tilted his head and his lips met Callum's jaw. "I love you too." He whispered. "I can't believe we're actually engaged. Like we have to plan a wedding now."

Just like that, the peace was interrupted by an energetic bundle of blonde wavy hair rushing through the door and jumping on Ben and Callum within seconds. "I drew you some photos! And Uncle Jay sang Anna!"

"Lexi, I told you to wait!" Lola shouted, her door keys clashing on the wooden table in front of them.

"But Mummy I just wanted to see my daddies and tell them about Uncle Jay!" Lexi giggled, snuggling down into Callum's hold. They had built a great relationship, one that everyone was so thankful for, because Callum was really good with Lexi, and seeing that made Ben happy.

"Leave her be, Lo, she's happy." Ben said, shifting over slightly now he'd been kicked out of Callum's embrace by his own daughter. "As am I."

"You asked then?!" Lola practically screeched, a huge grin on her face as Ben held his left hand up to show her the ring. "Oh my God Callum, it's perfect. Congrats!"

"What's happening?" Lexi asked, confused by all the excitement going on.

Ben and Callum shared a look, and Callum nodded to Ben, hinting for him to explain everything. "Well, whilst you and Mummy were with Uncle Jay last night, Callum asked me to marry him. So Callum will be Daddy Callum, officially."

Lexi was silent for a moment, and Callum spoke. "Is that okay with you?"

She leaned her head back to look up at him. "Can I be a bridesmaid? And wear a pretty dress like Elsa or Belle?"

"Yeah I think we sort that out." Callum grinned, looking back at Ben, who just had the look of complete and utter love spread out across his face.

* * *

**seven months later**

Everything had been planned to perfection. Nothing could possibly go wrong, even for a Walford wedding, because of the amount of people that was by their sides making sure that everything ran smoothly. Callum stood at the altar, dark grey suit hung to his body, the blue tie complementing the suit. Everyone was sat staring at him, and he felt as though his knees could give way at any moment. He was so nervous he felt sick. He swung backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet and the door at the back of the room opened as the music started up. Ben walked towards him, in matching attire, with Lexi by his side, wearing a dress that she picked out herself, the same shade of blue of their ties.

Ben stood in front of Callum, and suddenly all of his nerves flew away without a care in the world. He knew, right there and then, that he just wanted to marry Ben, and spend the rest of his life as Mr Callum Mitchell.


End file.
